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How
to Calm Your Crying Baby
By
Elizabeth Pantley, author of Gentle Baby Care
When
we’re pregnant or awaiting adoption, we dream about our
baby-to-be, we always envision those beautiful Hallmark card
scenes: charming baby smiling up at peaceful mother’s
face. We read books in advance of the big day about how care
for a newborn ¾
how to bathe, feed and dress her ¾
and then we feel somewhat prepared. However, a crying baby
was never part of that idyllic vision, so this takes us by
surprise. But the fact is, all babies cry at
one time or another.
Some babies cry more than others, but they all do cry.
Understanding why babies cry can help you get through
this phase and respond effectively to your crying baby
¾
so can the list of ideas that follows.
Why
does my baby cry?
Simply
put, babies cry because they cannot talk. Babies are human
beings, and they have needs and desires, just as we do, but
they can’t express them. Even if they could talk, very
often they wouldn’t understand why they feel the way they
do, they wouldn’t understand themselves well enough to
articulate their needs, so babies need someone to help them
figure it all out. Their cries are the only way they can
say, “Help me! Something isn’t right here!”
Different
kinds of cries
As you
get to know your baby, you’ll become the expert in
understanding his cries in a way that no one else can. In
their research, child development professionals have
determined that certain types of cries mean certain things.
In other words, babies don’t cry the same exact way every
time. (Other child development
experts, also known as mothers, have known that for
millennia.)
Over
time, you’ll recognize particular cries as if they were
spoken words. In addition to these cry signals, you often
can determine why your baby is crying by the situation
surrounding the cry. Following are common reasons for
Baby’s cry, and the clues that may tell you what’s up:
Hunger:
If three or four hours have passed since his last
feeding, if he has just woken up, or if he has just had a
very full diaper and he begins to cry, he’s probably
hungry. A feeding will most likely stop the crying.
Tiredness:
Look for these signs: decreased activity, losing
interest in people and toys, rubbing eyes, looking glazed,
and the most obvious ¾
yawning If you notice any of these in your crying baby, she
may just need to sleep. Time for bed!
Discomfort:
If a baby is uncomfortable ¾
too wet, hot, cold, squished ¾
he’ll typically squirm or arch his back when he cries, as
if trying to get away from the source of his discomfort. Try
to figure out the source of his distress and solve his
problem.
Pain: A
cry of pain is sudden and shrill, just like when an adult or
older child cries out when they get hurt. It may include
long cries followed by a pause during which your baby
appears to stop breathing. He then catches his breath and
lets out another long cry. Time to check your
baby’s temperature and undress him for a full-body
examination.
Overstimulation:
If the room is noisy, people are trying to get your
baby’s attention, rattles are rattling, music boxes are
playing, and your baby suddenly closes her eyes and cries
(or turns her head away), she may be trying to shut out all
that’s going on around her and find some peace. It’s
time for a quiet, dark room and some peaceful cuddles.
Illness:
When your baby is sick, he may cry in a weak, moaning
way. This is his way of saying, “I feel awful.” If your
baby seems ill, look for any signs of sickness, take her
temperature and call your healthcare provider.
Frustration.
Your baby is just learning how to control her hands,
arms, and feet. She may be trying to get her fingers into
her mouth or to reach a particularly interesting toy, but
her body isn’t cooperating. She cries out of frustration,
because she can’t accomplish what she wants to do. All she
needs is a little help.
Loneliness:
If your baby falls asleep feeding and you place her in
her crib, but she wakes soon afterward with a cry, she may
be saying that she misses the warmth of your embrace and
doesn’t like to be alone. A simple situation to resolve…
Worry
or fear. Your baby suddenly finds himself in the arms of
Great Aunt Matilda and can’t see you; his previously happy
gurgles turn suddenly to crying. He’s trying to tell you
that he’s scared: He doesn’t know this new person, and
he wants Mommy or Daddy. Explain to Auntie that he needs a
little time to warm up to someone new, and try letting the
two of them get to know each other while Baby stays in your
arms.
Boredom.
Your baby has been sitting in his infant seat for 20
minutes while you talk and eat lunch with a friend. He’s
not tired, hungry or uncomfortable, but he starts a whiny,
fussy cry. He may be saying that he’s bored and needs
something new to look at or touch. A new position for his
seat or a toy to hold may help.
Colic.
If your baby cries inconsolably for long periods every day,
particularly at the same time each day, he may have colic. Researchers
are still unsure of colic’s exact cause. Some
experts believe that colic is related to the immaturity of a
baby’s digestive system. Whatever the cause, and it may be
a combination of all the theories; colic is among the most
exasperating conditions that parents of new babies face.
Colic occurs only to newborn babies, up to about four to
five months of age. Look for patterns to your baby’s
crying; these can provide clues as to which suggestions are
most likely to help. Then experiment with some of the ideas
in this list and in the rest of this article.
What
about fussy crying?
There are
plenty of times when you can’t tell if your baby’s
crying is directly related to a fixable situation: hunger, a
soiled diaper, or a longing to be held. That’s when
parents get frustrated and nervous. That’s when you should
take a deep breath and try some of the following
cry-stoppers:
Hold
your baby. No matter the reason for your baby’s
cry, being held by a warm and comforting person offers a
feeling of security and may calm his crying. Babies love to
be held in arms, slings, front-pack carriers, and (when they
get a little older) backpacks; physical contact is what they
seek and what usually soothes them best.
Breastfeed
your baby. Nursing your baby is as much for comfort
as food. All four of my babies calmed easily when brought to
the breast ¾
so much so that my husband has always called it “The
Secret Weapon.” And my babies are very typical.
Breastfeeding is an important and powerful tool for baby
soothing.
Provide
motion. Babies enjoy repetitive, rhythmic
motion such as rocking, swinging, swaying, jiggling, dancing
or a drive in the car. Many parents instinctually begin to
sway with a fussy baby, and for a good reason: It works.
Turn
on some white noise. The womb was a very noisy
place. Remember the sounds you heard on the Doppler
stethoscope? Not so long ago, your baby heard those 24 hours
a day. Therefore, your baby sometimes can be calmed by
“white noise” ¾
that is, noise that is
continuous and uniform, such as that of a heartbeat, the
rain, static between radio stations, and your vacuum
cleaner. Some alarm clocks even have a white noise function.
Let
music soothe your baby.
Soft, peaceful music is a wonderful baby calmer. That’s why lullabies
have been passed down through the ages. You don’t have to
be a professional singer to provide your baby with a song;
your baby loves to hear your voice. In addition to your own
songs, babies usually love to hear any kind of music.
Experiment with different types of tunes, since babies have
their own favorites that can range from jazz to country to
classical, and even rock and rap.
Swaddle
your baby. During the first three or four months of life, many babies feel comforted
if you can re-create the tightly contained sensation they
enjoyed in the womb..
Massage your baby. Babies
love to be touched and stroked, so a massage is a wonderful
way to calm a fussy baby. A variation of massage is the baby
pat; many babies love a gentle, rhythmic pat on their backs
or bottoms.
Let your baby have something to suck on.
The most natural pacifier is mother’s breast, but when that isn’t an
option, a bottle, pacifier, Baby’s own fingers, a teething
toy, or Daddy’s pinkie can work wonders as a means of
comfort.
Distract your baby. Sometimes a new
activity or change of scenery ¾
maybe a walk outside, or a dance with a song, or a splashy
bath ¾ can be very helpful in turning a fussy baby into a happy one.
Reading
your baby’s body language
Many
times, you can avoid the crying altogether by responding
right away to your baby’s
earliest signals of need, such as
fussing, stiffening her
body, or rooting for the breast. As you get to know your
baby and learn her signals, determining what she needs will
become easier for you ¾
even before she cries.
This
article is a copyrighted excerpt from Gentle
Baby Care
by
Elizabeth Pantley.
(McGraw-Hill, 2003)
Website:
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth
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