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Should
I let my baby cry it out?
By
Elizabeth Pantley,
Author of the No-Cry Sleep Solution
Does it takes forever for
your baby to fall asleep? Does he or she only fall asleep if
you breastfeed, give a bottle or pacifier, rock, carry,
swing, take a ride in the car, or perform other elaborate
rituals? Does your baby wake up frequently throughout the
night? Are your sleep issues further complicated because
your baby won’t nap easily, or takes very short naps?
Do
you ever feel like Leesa, mother of 9-month-old Kyra who
said, "I am truly distressed, as the lack of
sleep is starting to affect all aspects of my life. I feel
as though I can't carry on an intelligent conversation. I am
extremely unorganized and don't have the energy to even
attempt reorganization. I love this child more than anything
in the world, and I don’t want to make her cry, but I'm
near tears myself thinking about going to bed every night.
Sometimes I think, ‘What’s the point? I'll just be
up in an hour anyway.’"
As your
sleep issues cast lengthening shadows over your life, you
may begin to live purely for the moment. Your
sleep-deprived, foggy brain may focus so intently on sleep
that you can’t think beyond the next few hours of rest.
You may have one – or many – people telling you that you
should just let your baby cry to sleep. You are probably
frustrated and confused. What you lack is perspective.
To gain that perspective, ask yourself these questions:
§
Where will I be five years from now?
§
How will I look back on this time?
§
Will I be proud of how I handled my baby’s
sleep routines, or will I regret my actions?
§
How will the things I do with my baby today
affect the person he will become in the future?
Once
you have some perspective about your baby’s current sleep
issues, it is important to be realistic in determining your
goals and to be honest in assessing the situation's effect
on your life. Some people can handle two night wakings
easily, while others find that the effect of even one night
waking is just too much to handle. The key is to evaluate
whether your baby’s sleep schedule is a problem in your
eyes, or just in those of the people around you.
Begin
today by contemplating these questions:
- Am
I content with the way things are, or am I becoming
resentful, angry, or frustrated?
- Is
my baby’s nighttime routine negatively affecting my
marriage, my job, or my relationships with my other
children?
- Is
my baby happy, healthy, and seemingly well rested?
- Am
I happy, healthy, and well rested?
- What
is a reasonable expectation for my baby at his/her age?
- What
naptime and bedtime situation would I consider
“acceptable”?
- What
naptime and bedtime situation would I consider “pure
bliss”?
- Why
do I want to change my baby’s sleep patterns? Is it
truly what’s best for me and my baby, or am I doing
this to meet someone else’s expectations?
- Am
I willing to be patient and make a gradual, gentle
change for my baby if that means no crying?
Once you
answer these questions, you will have a better understanding
of not only what is happening with regard to your baby’s
sleep, but what approach you will feel most comfortable
using to help your baby sleep better.
In
addition to my two-year-old son Coleton, I have three older
children, and they have afforded me the perspective I lacked
the first time around. My children have taught me how very
quickly babyhood passes. I struggle now to remember the
difficulties of those first couple years, so fleeting are
they. And I am proud that I didn’t cave in to the
pressures of others around us to do what they felt
was right; instead I followed my heart as I gently nurtured
all of my babies. That time is long gone for us, but those
memories remain. And now, all four of them sleep through the
night. And so do I.
Excerpted
with permission by McGraw-Hill/Contemporary Publishing from The
No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep
Through the Night by Elizabeth Pantley, copyright 2002
Website: http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth
USA
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Canada
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