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Newborn
Babies and Sleep
Congratulations
on the birth of your new baby. This is a glorious time in
your life. Whether this is your first baby or your fifth,
you will find this a time of recovery, adjustment, sometimes
confusion and frustration, but — most wonderfully — of
falling in love.
Babies
younger than four months old have very different sleep needs
than older babies. This article will help you understand
your newborn baby’s developing sleep patterns, and will
help you develop reasonable expectations when it comes to
your baby and sleep.
Read,
Learn, and Beware of Bad Advice
Absolutely
everyone has an opinion about how you should handle
sleep issues with your new baby. The danger to a new parent
is that these tidbits of misguided advice (no matter how
well-intentioned) can truly have a negative effect on our
parenting skills and, by extension, our babies’
development…if we are not aware of the facts. The
more knowledge you have the less likely that other people
will make you doubt your parenting decisions.
When you
have your facts straight, and when you have a parenting
plan, you will be able to respond with confidence to those
who are well-meaning but offering contrary or incorrect
advice. So, your first step is to get smart! Know what you
are doing, and know why you are doing it. Read books
and magazines, attend classes or support groups – it all
helps.
The
Biology of Newborn Sleep
During
the early months of your baby's life, he sleeps when he is
tired, it’s really that simple. You can do very little to
force a new baby to sleep when he doesn’t want to sleep,
and conversely, you can do little to wake him up when he is
sleeping soundly.
A very important point to understand about newborn babies is
that they have very, very tiny tummies. New babies grow
rapidly, their diet is liquid, and it digests quickly.
Formula digests quickly and breast milk digests even more
rapidly. Although it would be nice to lay your little bundle
down at a predetermined bedtime and not hear a peep from him
until morning, even the most naïve among us know that this
is not a realistic goal for a tiny baby. Newborns need to be
fed every two to four hours — and sometimes more.
During
those early months, your baby will have tremendous growth
spurts that affect not only daytime, but also nighttime
feeding as well, sometimes pushing that two- to four-hour
schedule to a one- to two-hour schedule around the clock.
Sleeping
“through the night”
You have
probably heard that babies should start "sleeping
through the night" at about two to four months of age.
What you must understand is that, for a new baby, a
five-hour stretch is a full night. Many (but nowhere
near all) babies at this age can sleep uninterrupted
from midnight to 5 a.m. (Not that they always do.) A far cry
from what you may have thought "sleeping through the
night" meant!
What's
more, while the scientific definition of “sleeping through
the night” is five hours, most of us wouldn’t consider
that anywhere near a full night’s sleep for ourselves.
Also, some of these sleep-through-the-nighters will suddenly
begin waking more frequently, and it’s often a full year
or even two until your little one will settle into a mature,
all-night, every night sleep pattern.
Falling
Asleep at the Breast or Bottle
It is
very natural for a newborn to fall asleep while sucking at
the breast, a bottle, or a pacifier. When a baby always
falls asleep this way, he learns to associate sucking with
falling asleep; over time, he cannot fall asleep any other
way. I have heard a number of sleep experts refer to this as
a “negative sleep association.” I certainly disagree,
and so would my baby. It is probably the most positive,
natural, pleasant sleep association a baby can have.
However, a large percentage of parents who are struggling
with older babies who cannot fall asleep or stay asleep are
fighting this natural and powerful sucking-to-sleep
association.
Therefore,
if you want your baby to be able to fall asleep without your
help, it is essential that you sometimes let your
newborn baby suck until he is sleepy, but not totally
asleep. When you can, remove the breast, bottle, or pacifier
from his mouth and let him finish falling asleep without
something in his mouth. When you do this, your baby may
resist, root, and fuss to regain the nipple. It’s
perfectly okay to give him back the breast, bottle, or
pacifier and start over a few minutes later. If you do this
often enough, he will eventually learn how to fall asleep
without sucking.
Waking
for Night Feedings
Many
pediatricians recommend that parents shouldn't let a newborn
sleep longer than three or four hours without
feeding,
and the vast majority of babies wake far more frequently
than that. (There are a few exceptional babies who
can go longer.) No matter what, your baby will wake
up during the night. The key is to learn when you should
pick her up for a night feeding and when you can let her go
back to sleep on her own.
This is a
time when you need to focus your instincts and intuition.
This is when you should try very hard to learn how to read
your baby’s signals. Here’s a tip that is critically
important for you to know. Babies make many sleeping sounds,
from grunts to whimpers to outright cries, and these noises
don’t always signal awakening. These are what I call
sleeping noises, and your baby is nearly or even totally
asleep during these episodes. I remember when my first baby,
Angela, was a newborn. Her cry awakened me many times, yet
she was asleep in my arms before I even made it from cradle
to rocking chair. She was making sleeping noises. In my
desire to respond to my baby’s every cry, I actually
taught her to wake up more often!
You need
to listen and watch your baby carefully. Learn to
differentiate between these sleeping sounds and awake and
hungry sounds. If she is awake and hungry, you’ll want to
feed her as quickly as possible. If you respond immediately
when she is hungry, she will most likely go back to sleep
quickly. But, if you let her cry escalate, she will wake
herself up totally, and it will be harder and take longer
for her to go back to sleep. Not to mention that you
will then be wide awake, too!
Help
Your Baby Distinguish Day from Night
A newborn
baby sleeps about sixteen to eighteen
hours per day, and this sleep is distributed evenly over six
to seven brief sleep periods. You can help your baby
distinguish between nighttime sleep and daytime sleep, and
thus help him sleep longer periods at night.
Begin by
having your baby take his daytime naps in a lit room where
he can hear the noises of the day, perhaps a bassinet or
cradle located in the main area of your home. Make nighttime
sleep dark and quiet. You can also help your baby
differentiate day naps from night sleep by using a nightly
bath and a change into sleeping pajamas to signal the
difference between the two.
Watch
for Signs of Tiredness
One way
to encourage good sleep is to get familiar with your baby's
sleepy signals and put her down to sleep as soon as she
seems tired. A baby cannot put herself to sleep, nor can she
understand her own sleepy signs. Yet a baby who is
encouraged to stay awake when her body is craving sleep is
typically an unhappy baby. Over time, this pattern develops
into sleep deprivation, which further complicates your
baby’s developing sleep maturity. Learn to read your
baby’s sleepy signs -- such as quieting down, losing
interest in people and toys, and fussing -- and put her to
bed when that window of opportunity presents itself.
Make
Yourself Comfortable
I’ve
yet to hear a parent tell me that she or he loves getting up
throughout the night to tend to a baby’s needs. As much as
we adore our little bundles, it’s tough when you’re
woken up over and over again, night after night. Since
it’s a fact that your baby will be waking you up,
you may as well make yourself as comfortable as possible.
The first step is to learn to relax about night wakings
right now. Being stressed or frustrated about having to get
up won’t change a thing. The situation will improve day by
day; and before you know it, your little newborn won’t be
so little anymore — she’ll be walking and talking and
getting into everything in sight…during the day, and
sleeping peacefully all night long.
Excerpted
with permission by McGraw-Hill/Contemporary Publishing from The
No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep
Through the Night by
Elizabeth Pantley, copyright 2002 Website: http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth
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